That's not me

"In a little while,
I'll be gone.
The moments already passed,
yeah, it's gone.
And I'm not here,
this isn't happening.
I'm not here.
I'm not here."

'How to Disappear Completely (live)' ~ Radiohead

Late last night in the midst of those sleepless hours, when sadness and insomnia were clasping hands tightly, and turning me completely inside out. I think, for an brief moment in time, in the haze of exhaustion, I felt transparent. Perhaps it was a wish, of sorts, to disappear completely - if only for a day or so - and not face the hurt I was feeling.

This song reminds me of that.

Also, this particular version just takes my breath out of me, and brings tears to my eyes. Radiohead is one of those bands that I never fully embraced to the levels that most of my musically obsessed, and self-defined indie friends, ever did. I loved the Bends album, and never quite loved anything after. I know some of this was all the hype, and the never ending shout-outs the band received, silencing many of the bands I utterly adored.

That said, sometimes distance makes the heart grow fonder, and I've come around to some of the undeniable incredible songs. This is one of them.

(song of the day)