Monday, April 13, 2009

I just wanted you to love me, honey

"I knew I was never gonna talk to you tomorrow,
and oh, the birds how they sing.
If you were a bird could you sing me a song of sorrow?
‘Cause all I know from you is grief.

But, I never wanted to be your rolling train,
I never wanted to be your dancin’ shoes.

I just wanted you to love me."

'Touch, Love and Lose (live)" ~ Ryan Adams

Driving back home in the typical mass of Los Angeles traffic in a truck that is not mine I find myself feeling overwhelmed, over-wrought, and sick of just about everything - especially myself. This song came on and I turned the volume up, higher, higher, and higher.

Ryan and his blues, slipping out of the speakers, swirling around the cab of that truck, leaving me feeling understood, embraced, and a little saved.

Loving someone who is still in love with someone else, it is the stuff of so many tragedies, tear-jerker movies, adolescent paperback novels, and so many songs of broken hearts. Seems almost contrived to cry about such things, and yet we do.

Sometimes one mistakes soulful eyes and warm arms for love, and sometimes the other mistakes a kind smile and a shoulder to cry on for a temporary fix.

The sun is going down now, it turns the smog into some kind of breathtaking brilliance. Everything ugly looks beautiful in the right light, or played in the right key - even a broken hearted girl.

(song of the day)

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