Saturday, April 4, 2009

And your heart fades away

"Touch my hand,
it's only me, listen;
I'm here.

Come to stand,
in sultry fields,
with you."

'Sometime Later' ~ Alpha

The sun outside my kitchen window trickles in through the closed blinds, and a cool breeze sneaks in because these apartments, they are full of leaks and holes. The music swirls around the room and I feel light and heavy, all at once. It is hard to quell the desires that were so recently awakened, only to be forced closed again.

I have a lot of everything to give, to feel, to experience. Perhaps there are things on the horizon, and my eyes and ears, and my heart so bruised and cracked at the moment, are just like the blinds. Only a bit of hope comes through, but is it enough to keep me going? Will I allow myself to open up as I did ever again?

I'd like to think so. I'd like to believe. I'd like to recognize the possibility of living and experiencing more than just plots in my imagination, and typed words on a screen. I love the characters I create, but they do not hold me through the night.

I'd be lying if I said I did not wish it was you, but I know, I know, I know. Sometimes, my feelings still linger, and my mind wanders back to early mornings entwined in each other. We cannot help how we feel, or what we remember. I know, I know.

Bristol trip-hop steals my soul, temporarily, and exquisitely.

(song of the day)

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