rose tints my world

(lyrics)
it was great when it all began
i was a regular frankie fan
but it was over when he had the plan
to start working on a muscle man
now the only thing that gives me hope
is my love of a certain dope
rose tints my world
keeps me safe from my trouble and pain

i'm just seven hours old
truly beautiful to behold
and somebody should be told
my libido hasn't been controlled
now the only thing i've come to trust
is an orgasmic rush of lust
rose tints my world
and keeps me safe from my trouble and pain

it's beyond me
help me, mommy
i'll be good, you'll see
take this dream away
what this, let's see
i feel sexy
what's come over me?
woo! here it comes again

i feel released
bad times deceased
my confidence has increased
reality is here
the game has been disbanded
my mind has been expanded
it's a gas that frankie's landed
his lust is so sincere

don't dream it

whatever happened to fay wray?
that delicate satin draped frame
as it clung to her thigh, how i started to cry
'cause i wanted to be dressed just the same
give yourself over to absolute pleasure
swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh
erotic nightmares beyond any measure
and sensual daydreams to treasure forever
can't you just see it. whoa ho ho!
don't dream it, be it
don't dream it, be it

don't dream it, be it
don't dream it, be it
don't dream it, be it
don't dream it, be it
don't dream it, be it
don't dream it, be it
don't dream it, be it
don't dream it, be it
don't dream it, be it

ach! we've got to get out of this trap
before this decadence saps our wills
i've got to be strong and try to hang on
or else my mind, may well snap
and my life will be lived
for the thrills

don't dream it, be it

it's beyond me
help me, mommy

god bless lili st. cyr

***

then the safety net collapsed. ripped. cap and gown. time to go on from here. try to maintain the freedom i felt and carry it with me. change. change. change. how i relished it, despised it, feared it, caressed it. i decided on a path of glitter and escape. i was drunk on it now. applause. masks. denial. wasn't ready to give up, yet. he used to give me a ride in his old mustang. the black and grey hair, old beyond his youth. i wrote lines to say to him the night's before. kept trying on my best impression of a 1950's starlet.

they called one night. an invitation. i would never have been able to guess what it would start. simple black dress. too new of shoes. anticipation. i rode along in a car full of boys, who love boys. singing along. part of me wanted to just be them. my feet hurt, my heart raced. i tried not to look so blown away. wigs. glam. tequila shots. cigarettes. needles on the bathroom floor. i stepped over them. took it all in. spun around. spin. spin. spin. my silences turning into lipstick stains. i was pulled. this was a better disguise than any role i ever attempted to play. or was it just another role i took on, back then?

it is strange and surreal, the re-telling of my life, in these really brief spurts. to notice the things that show themselves, the things that still hide. our recollection, and our personal perceptions, are precarious and intriguing, don't you think?