Extraordinary

"Just remember one thing...anything less than mad, passionate, extraordinary love is a waste of time. I mean, there are too many mediocre things in life, and love shouldn't be one of them."

Frankie, Dream For An Insomniac

I always thought that I'd see you again

Last night I dreamt that somebody loved me: But the district sleeps alone tonight: All Alone Mix

Konstantine ~ Something Corporate
Am I The Only One ~ Barenaked Ladies
The District Sleeps Alone Tonight ~ The Postal Service
One (cover) ~ Aimee Mann
Better Off Alone ~ Marie Digby
Live Alone ~ Franz Ferdinand
Moon River ~ Audrey Hepburn
Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me ~ The Smiths
In This Lonely Town ~ Jeremy Jay
Sleep Alone ~ Bat For Lashes
You're Not Alone (Nightmares On Wax Remix) ~ Olive

Why Do They Leave? ~ Ryan Adams

Left Behind ~ Aqualung
Alone Again ~ Illinois
I'd Rather Be Alone ~ The Guess Who
We Are Not Alone ~ Kathy DeVito
Now That I Miss Her ~ Elefant
Fire And Rain ~ Dido

All Alone Mix ~ Zipped Up

Love must be forgotten, life can always start up anew

"This is our decision, to live fast and die young.
We've got the vision, now let's have some fun.
Yeah, it's overwhelming, but what else can we do.
Get jobs in offices, and wake up for the morning commute."

Time To Pretend ~ MGMT

Today I found out that I am being laid off from my job. I have less than a month and then the job I've had for the last two years (almost to the day) will be no more. I've been through this before, more times then I care to mention, but it never becomes easier to deal with. That said, it is change, and change has been what I've pleaded for lately. Sometimes the universe kicks you when you need it; a karmic nudge saying "there is somewhere else you want to be."

Of course the places I want to be, in most instances, are highly aspirational and nearly impossible. That said, is it not the purpose of life to try to challenge the obstacles? Is it not our own self-doubt and limitations we create to believe, that truly make things impossible?

I loathe working in an office and the daily commute, it has never been where my heart was. It was always a means to an end, a necessity to do things like eat, sleep, and have some sources of entertainment.

But what I really want to do, all those dreams that swirl around in my head, could this be the time to finally give it a go? If I'm scared, perhaps I can just learn to pretend to be brave.

(song of the day)

Intermissions

sometimes we make impossible choices
on a mathematical graph version of life
full of boxes to check
and equations to solve
as if it were that easy to pick a path to follow
or a who that will hold our hand along the way

in the dark rooms of decisions
we all just stand staggering alone
images flash like tiny reels of film
that play on the insides of each eyelid
some nights I watch it over and over
rewinding that one scene again
while I pray for the escape hatch of sleep

but instead there is only this breathing caught and tangled
between the web of regret and lies
you know the ones we practice like a valedictorian speech
thanking people we secretly loathe
for making us into some unrecognizable figure
as we tie on the mask and take the final bow

she wrapped a ring around forever
and kissed you hard on the mouth
with tongue turns and teeth marks
left on your bottom lip

you made it mean everything
in a moment parked crooked on the side of the road
a girl trying to erase everything she had broken

she handed over the pen
asked you to write the story of us
twisted her arms into upside-down angles
you saw the misplaced pieces she wished she could be
that she threw back in anger
screaming that you had it all wrong

we had it all wrong

and all along there is that sound
the fuzz and whir of a far off engine
we have all heard it before
the whispers and coos that land at soft parts of our skin
right close to the ear
tricking us into thinking we can run from this

come away and leave the mess behind you, girl

and we have run so hard and fast
that our shoes split in two
our souls breathless and begging for water

but you were not someone she wanted to run to
or away from
but she did run and run and run

all the kisses worked a magic
that slowly bled into the lie
of what we would eventually become
the subsequent error in the formula
the algebraic failure of a broken hearted love

You don't have to say what you did

You must have me confused: So cry me a river: An April Fool Mix

Run For Your Life ~ The Beatles
Fool ~ Cat Power
Bad Moon Rising ~ Rasputina
Don't Let It Fool You ~ Empires
Ain't Too Proud To Beg ~ The Temptations
Fool ~ Marie Digby
Rootless Tree ~ Damien Rice
Cry Me A River (cover) ~ Glen Hansard
Lovefool (cover) ~ The Morning Benders
Almost Lover ~ A Fine Frenzy
Fuck Was I ~ Jenny Owen Youngs
Beautiful Lie ~ Yoav
Soft ~ Kings Of Leon
Rebellion (Lies) ~ Arcade Fire
Fuck You ~ Lily Allen
Dickhead ~ Kate Nash
Bad Things ~ Jace Everett
Sometime Around Midnight ~ The Airborne Toxic Event

An April Fool Mix ~ Zipped Up

Quand je pense à mes copines

"À cause des garçons !
On met des bas nylon
On se crêpe le chignon."

'À Cause des Garçons' ~ Yelle

French girls singing pop songs with provocative lyrics? How can I resist?

Yelle's music is impossible not to want to dance to. Makes me miss my past life as a club girl. There is something in the entire ritual of getting ready, picking out the outfit, doing your hair, make-up, ingesting various unmentionable "accessories".

The real fun in all of though, the very best part, was the music playing when my friends and I would be getting ready - and the soundtrack for the drive into Hollywood, or downtown Los Angeles. It was filled with more excitement, and enthusiasm, then the boys we may have been crushing on, or the actual destination itself.

Cela aurait été un parfait complément à notre pré-dance préparatifs.

I've got my mind made up now

"Coz I'll be you and you'll be me,
there's lots and lots for us to see,
there's lots and lots for us to do.
She is electric, can I be electric too?"

'She's Electric' ~ Oasis

It took a long time for me to come around to Oasis. I'm not one to be ruled by personas in the artists I enjoy, but sometimes the personas hit me before the art actually does. This was the case with Oasis.

To be honest, it was not until I heard Ryan Adams cover one of their songs that I really stopped and thought to myself, "you know, they have some songwriting talent there."

Another moment happened when I was at a bar with a few friends of mine. One of Oasis' songs came on, and the whole table of us started singing along.

Eventually I had to give in and start listening, and slowly a few of their songs began to work their magic on me, and becoming part of the ever-expanding soundtrack of music that I love.

This song came on just now, the second song to come up on shuffle (just following the Beatles, which is humorous in its own right), and it brought an immediate smile to my face. I think I've hit repeat now at least three times.

Something about the lyrics, especially the ones I quoted, speak to the place I am in my life, and heart, at the moment. The small changes I'm making, and the way I'm seeing the world, and how I want to traverse within it. It is hard to articulate exactly, but the feel of this song, and the idea of so much to see and do, speaks to me today.