screaming from the window

unbilotitled ~ peter doherty (stookie + jim bumfest demo)
unbilotitled ~ babyshambles (album version)
unbilotitled (live at the boogaloo, video) ~ babyshambles

"the more that you follow me,
the more i get lost.
you think that you know me,
you're pissing me off.
yeah you say that you love me,
why don't you fuck off?"

i've posted this song a few times here, different versions and for various reasons, but still the same song at the core. i don't know what it is about this song, but i know that i've loved it since the first time i heard it back when it was a demo and i was just discovering the libertines (post break-up of the band, but they were new to me at the time).

i tend to prefer the stripped down versions, like the stookie + jim bumfest demo, more than the actual full band rendition. that said, there is something about the way it sounds played live. the video is taken a this weekend, live in paris, and though the angles are off to the side, it is still a very keen recording.

listening to the song for the gazillion-eth time today i try to ascertain what it is about it that means so much to me. perhaps it is the layer of strength in it, cradled in a feeling of vulnerability that comes through not so much in the lyrics, but in the way it is sung. something about that collision of emotion i relate to, and it sticks to me, affixing itself so completely that whenever i hear it i want to stop everything i'm doing just to listen.