Saturday, September 20, 2008

man in the park read the lines in my hand

miss misery ~ elliott smith
miss misery (early version) ~ elliott smith
miss misery (live, mtv, video) ~ elliott smith

"next door the tv's flashing,
blue frames on the wall.
it's a comedy of errors, you see.
it's about taking a fall.

to vanish into oblivion,
is easy to do,
and i try to be,
but you know me,
i come back when you want me to."

i woke up this morning to the bleary-eyed recollection of the flickering television screen, and the near ending of good will hunting playing. i tuned in at about the point where will has his breakthrough, both with his best friend, and with sean. i ended up lying on the couch, under a blanket, crying my eyes out. there is a long list of reasons why it hit me so hard, and why in some ways it was what i needed most of all today.

the sun was not yet awake, and as the credits rolled elliott smith sang one of my most favorite songs of all-time. last week was beyond rough and my soul feels beat up right now. i feel discouraged and lost in ways that words do not articulate clearly, and i know i need to make my way through the fog and sort out what to do, but right now i feel defeated, and tired. part of me wants to just vanish into oblivion.

this song helps, as did the scene in the film, and music; always music.

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