saw two shadowed men on the vallance road

"said they'd pay me for your address,
oh, i was so bold.

i said, 'you see these two cold fingers,
these crooked fingers i show?'
you a way to mean no.

well, they didn't like that much i can tell you,
he said, 'sunshine i wouldn't wanna be in your shoesi,
then they chased me up three flights of stairs,
caught me in the lift, how i sighed and said, 'hello'.
'cause you're impossible

and it's just like he's in another world,
he doesn't see the danger on show;
now he'll wind up like joseph, bloody in the hole.

and it's just like she's in another world,
and how they suit each other, oh no.
but you never get close,
(oh, it's impossible)."

oh the things you remember, oh the things you forget. in spite of it all, the amount of love i have for this song, and those boys, is immeasurable.

up the bracket ~ the libertines

song of the day

i saw the world thrashing all around your face

"i'll stop the world and melt with you.
you've seen the difference,
and it's getting better all the time.
there's nothing you and i won't do,
i'll stop the world and melt with you."

history lesson:
i melt with you, an mtv staple in 1983, is the song that the band modern english is best known for. the song, produced by hugh jones, was a single from the album after the snow. while never reaching the Top 40 (its highest position was #76, which it reached with a july 1990 rerelease), the song gained popularity due to its airplay on mtv in early 1983 and its inclusion during the closing credits in the movie valley girl. the band re-recorded it in 1990 for their album pillow lips.

personal reflection:
valley girl was one of those movies that kate and i were ever-prone to watch on a saturday night. an odd night for staying in and renting videos, one might think, but from what i remember it was the one night we never quite liked going out on. there was always too much expectation in the air on a saturday night. what with the clubs twice the price, and all the long lines and date nights going on, it just never held its appeal to us. so, it was the couch and some of our personal vices, and a stack of movies. valley girl was in that stack more often than not (usually accompanied by dogs in space, sid and nancy and modern girls), and we had our character crushes and our moments of singing along.

even when this song turned into an advertisement for hamburgers, or when every local radio station decided to play it to near death during its flashback weekends and lunches, it still always reminds me of randy and julie, and the valley.

the 80's

ah the night...here it comes again

"and i hold you close in the back of my mind,
feels so good, but damn it makes me hurt,
and i'm too scared to know to how i feel about you now;
la cienega just smiles...'see ya around'.

and i hold you close in the back of my mind,
and raise my glass, 'cause either way i'm dead.
neither of you really help me to sleep anymore,
one breaks my body, and the other breaks my soul;
la cienega just smiles as it waves goodbye."

my favorite ryan song without exception, though there are many others i love. this song snuck inside of me and found a little place in my heart to reside always. it is this corner that holds songs that never lose their significance to me, and where i go when i need solace and the kind of soul-silence that music provides.

strange, this song just resonates more and more with each and every listen.

i do hope he plays this tonight.

la cienega just smiled

song of the day

who'd have believed you'd come along

"you know there are fours words i need to hear before i go to sleep. four little words. 'good night sweet girl.' that's all it takes. i'm easy, i know, but a guy who can muster up those four words is a guy i want to stay with." ~ andrea

this is one of my comfort movies, the kind you watch when you need to feel better, to soothe the effects of life a bit, and to envelop yourself in something comfortable. it is the film equivalent to a blanket, comfortable pajamas, and a bowl of ice cream. i love this movie. i have loved it since the first time i saw it, and i love it just as much if not more the twentieth time i have seen it. i love marty and willie's friendship, natalie portman is incredible in this, to this day it is still my favourite role of hers. i love andrea's take on love and relationships, willie's confusion, the diatribe of girls with curves, and the sweet caroline bar scene. i love the characters, the town, the ways of speaking, the small town family dysfunctions and connections. and, i am ever the sucker for a good ensemble cast.

the level of love i have for this movie is probably in direct correlation with why i adore october road as much as i do.

365 love: beautiful girls

and not in a friendly way

"even if we never talk again after tonight, please know that i am forever changed because of who you are, and what you've meant to me. which, while i do appreciate it, i'd never need a picture of birds bought at a diner to remind me of."

there is something about this scene, the vulnerability in it, and that moment where you know that what is being opened up will change everything. it could have been terribly cheesy, and i am not much of a fan of ben afflick, though i do love him as holden. to me it is believable, relatable, and painful in that way that when i first saw it i watched it through my fingers, with my hands covering my eyes, dreading what the outcome would be.

i think there is this universal feeling to it. that feeling of falling into an impossible situation, and having it burn you so deeply that you feel there is no way you can keep your feelings inside any longer. and that risk, that utter and complete risk, of telling someone you are in love with them in the face of rejection.

beyond this scene, there are so many other things i love about chasing amy. alyssa is one of those characters that i relate to on a under the skin level, and i loved how complex they made her friendship with holden, and her own self-actualized reality. i love the friendship between holden and banky, and the wit and pop culture peppered in to a very real love story.

the scene at the club, which includes a send up to the jaws scar conversation is a close second to favorites of mine, but this one always wins out.

the video cuts out before you see the end of the scene, but i sort of like the way it leaves it up in the air; even though i know what else happens in that rain.

chasing amy

completely live

keep art alive; art by wallyg

mix created & contribued by andrea

chords and choruses: a live c mix

cadence to arms (live) ~ dropkick murphys

crawdaddy simone (live) ~ the horrors

citizen erased (live) ~ muse

come on home (live) ~ kaiser chiefs

common people (live) ~ pulp

cornflake girl (live) ~ tori amos

the coast is always changing (live) ~ maximo park

chocolate (live) ~ snow patrol

cecilia (live) ~ paul simon

certain songs (live) ~ the hold steady

comfortably numb (live) ~ pink floyd

cumberland blues (live) ~ the grateful dead

corduroy (live) ~ pearl jam

come together (live) ~ john lennon

carry that weight (live) ~ paul mccartney

live c mix ~ zipped

it moves like a summer breeze

"my love for you is long,

across the oceans all the same,

my love for you is true."

pen pressed to paper as she writes the other side of what happened, the words not sung, but remembered. faded photographic images with criss-crossed marks at the sides. once upon a time they danced on rooftops, and once upon a time they still believed.

and, there is old poetry locked in strong boxes, hope chests some would call them; moth ball heavy and nearly forgotten. in the late afternoons she turns each page over in her well-worn hands, too far in the past to bring tears now, though she misses them. now she even misses the pain of loving him.

funny how time does that, turns things fuzzy and transparent, as numb as our fingers in the harsh winter cold. he always forgot his gloves, and she would blow into his hands to warm them up again. but now the weather is ever warm, and he is gone.

my love for you is real ~ ryan adams