it's just around the bend

"yours is the fire that gets in my head.
mine is desire,
so let it burn down your bed.

cause i heard about those stories, yeah,
i guess everyone has.
i heard them say sometimes you fall,
just on your own with no-one at all."

this song is stuck in my head for all kinds of reasons, and for no reason at all.

vice ~ razorlight

song of the day

just like starting over

"it's time to spread our wing's and fly,
don't let another day go by my love,
it'll be just like starting over."

at least that is the attitude i am choosing to take with this. my laptop is dead. the hard drive failed and i have literally lost everything i have saved on it (music, photos, writing). it is all replaceable, and i have been in this before - the state of losing things that mean something to me, and starting over - and i know how to get through it.

it still sucks, though.

so far, this year seems to be about loss and new beginnings; so be it, i suppose. i feel the shift in myself already, trying to remember to simplify, to breathe, to let things go, and to start over. and to remember to let myself make mistakes, breakdown, sort it out, and start again.

i may send a plea for music at some point. and, the story i am currently working on is in my drafts - so huzzah for that.

really, i have all that is important to me - my family and friends, and the people i love.

i'm lucky, truly i am.

i'll just brush self off & look ahead, best we can ever do really.

(just like) starting over ~ john lennon

song of the day

i'm happy to be your fool

keep art alive; art by martin pulaski

"and i was busy finding answers while you just got on with real life,

always hoped you'd be my wife.

but i never found the time,

for the question to arrive;

i just disguised it in a song.

and songs,

are never quite the answer,

just a soundtrack to a life,

that is over all too soon."

a found photograph of a girl who shares my name, back in a time briefly before i was born. catch a glimpse and i start coloring in the gaps and lines, filling in the blanks of where she is off to, and who is running through her mind at the moment of snap and click. the photographer notes that she is on her way to work, but there is more below the surface.

there is always so much more below our surfaces.

you were right ~ badly drawn boy

but yesterday when i saw your eyes in a black haze you didn't even know my name

"but we're all happy cause the streets they're always there for us,
and it's quite scary when you wake up in the same old clubs.
it's getting darker,
and i know this time wasn't meant for us,
so won't you please please please come back to me."

a string of songs are holding hands together, and circling around me as i write. a soundtrack, though unintentional, is slowly building around the story i am creating and it makes me realize how connected art is, and how intrinsically linked i am to music.

no need to fight it, though, the music pushed along the first words on the page, and it keeps me going. my muse is a mix of songs, and no one is suprised.

please please please ~ the shout out louds

song of the day

consequences wall of sound

each contributing artist brought something to it, without knowing what came before, or what would follow. pretty damn keen, if you ask me - and a good cause, too.

be a part of it.

another time undone

keep art alive; art by allison torneros

"hopelessly drift in the eyes of the ghost again,

down on my knees and my hands in the air again,

pushing my face in the memory of you again;

but, i never know if it's real,

never know how i wanted to feel."

when i write somewhere in my head a title looms; stark and distant, at times, but there all the same. i don't know how much it affects the words used, or the plots turns and eventual end, but it must. i would think it would have to dictate something. occasionally, though, words fly out of me as if someone has sliced open a vein and left me bleeding. and it is this, the sudden and determined outpouring, that i sometimes find myself labeling it 'untitled'. there is freedom there, mystery, and perhaps it lends itself to a delivery that is ripe for the reader's own interpretation.

with this song, i know i have felt it mean different things to me at different times. and maybe, in it's lack of a substantial title, it is left more pliable. i know i have molded it to fit, and change. even today, sitting here writing a bit of fiction on the side, i hear it and it layers over my words. a soundtrack happening without my knowing, or planning. untitled, yet fitting so well in a piece i have given a name to. and it is here, playing along, and fitting right in.

untitled ~ the cure

i'm ready

Talk Show Host (Radiohead)
Video sent by -aMeLe-

"you want me?
well come on and break the door down.
you want me?
fucking come on and break the door down."

talk show host ~ radiohead

song of the day