And I've been here, silent all these years

An article on Observe & Report, and why rape is not a comedy

A good friend of mine told me about this film, and the contents within a scene meant to be taken as comedy, on Friday last week, and it has bothered me deeply ever since.

The article above was shared by the same friend, and is very well written and thought provoking. It hit me on a very personal level, and made me realize that though there has been years that have passed, the hurt is still there, and the elements that were part of the society I was in back then still exist now, keeping silence a continuing after effect of rape.

I wrote this in another forum, but I wanted to share it here, as well - my response to the above link:

As a rape survivor, and someone who kept silent because of the situation and the societal opinions regarding date rape, or rape by someone you knew, and perhaps had been out with, and maybe considered having sex with, or had had sex with was not rape - even if you said no, even if you screamed no, even if you ran away the second you could, and even if it changed who you were for years - well, the idea of a joke being made of it just really disgusts me, but more than that, it just makes me deeply sad.

Sad too that I’m not the only one I know with a story. That more women in my life, or who have been in my life, have their own story then ones who do not. And that as a mother of three children, the thought that this is a message that is still in the mainstream, and considered entertainment, just makes me so sad.

This is definitely worth a read, and more than that, worthy of the discussions I hope this whole thing brings to light. We keep quiet so often about our stories of rape, or sexual abuse, because we don’t want to be labeled, pitied, singled out, or thought of as different because of it - but silence does not help anyone, not even ourselves.

Silent All These Years (live, video) ~ Tori Amos

touch

last night i sat cross-legged on the floor of the kids' room and played green alligators. the things i noticed most were the way my children visualize and translate the world; how they define it.

the object of the game is rather basic. you have three cards, each one has a picture of something (a birthday cake, a seashell, a computer) and then there are the "action" cards which are green alligators doing things (ballet dancing, golf, ice skating). you have to give clues to what the pictures are in order for the other players to try and guess.

a simple game, but the enjoyable part, at least to me, is seeing the creative mind work and the way expression plays such a part in the way we communicate.

i suppose it is what is sorely lacking in email, or blogs, as a main source of communication - there is so much of the human experience that goes missing. the spark in someone's eyes, the way they gesture with their hands, the quirky looks we all have that make up part of who we are, the gentle touch of a hand.

i know i'm a very physical person, i am free with hugs and arms wrapped around, i like to show my affection and emotion with touch. and sometimes, the lack of it when so many of those people i consider friends are miles away, makes me feel lonely, and often misunderstood.

i like knowing how someone's laugh sounds, how they look right before they smile, and how their voice changes when they are being genuine, or snarky, or flat out silly. and last night i got a pretty good dose of that in my children. i got to sit there and take in the way their individual voices layer over each other, how a laugh is contagious, and how unique each one of their looks and tells are when they are trying to say something, or trying to hide a detail.

just got me thinking.