guilty pleasure christmas song...

you know you have one, too.
what is it?

my senior year. december. my mom and i took a trip to hawaii, the one and only trip we ever took together, as in just the two of us. she still makes fun of me from that trip, how i was always dodging the sun, ever trying to protect my pale gothy glow.

i know she really enjoyed the trip or she would not keep teasing me about it; trust me, that’s how my family is.

we rented this piece of crap car that was rusting from the bottom up. it was the only thing we could afford. and, because of the sight of it, all the locals thought we were local, too. one morning we woke up and decided we would try to drive all the way around the island of oahu. of course, they don’t let you go all the way round, but we did get pretty far.

we drove through this particular piece of road that looked out over the ocean, and this song came on. we both sang our hearts out, and for whatever silly reason, it is the one thing i most vividly remember of that trip. me and my mom singing at the top of our lungs to george michael and andrew ridgeley.

last christmas ~ wham!

if you want it

my mother used to have this box of 45’s she kept tucked underneath our dinosaur-size stereo system. she rarely played them, always claimed to prefer her albums, complained about having to set that little clip into the middle circle, that it took too much time. i know the real reason was because that box of 45’s were a wedding present to her and my dad, and she did not like to remember a time when it was joanie and jim anymore.

but, i loved them. and this, this song, was my very favorite.

“a very merry christmas

and a happy new year

let’s hope it’s a good one

without any fear.”

happy xmas (war is over) ~ john lennon

then call it a day

i was thinking i could clean up for christmas
and then, baby, i'm through
four more weeks that couldn't make any difference
except maybe to you

i was thinking i could clean up for christmas (live) ~ aimee mann

it's crazy what you could've had

this flower is scorched
this film is on
on a maddening loop
these clothes
these clothes don't fit us right
i'm to blame
it's all the same
it's all the same

you come to me with the phone in your hand
you come to me with your hair curled tight
you come to me with positions
you come to me with excuses
decked out out in a robe
you wear me out
you wear me out

we've been through fake-a-breakdown
self hurt
plastics, collections
self help, self pain,
est, psychics, fuck all
i was central
i had control
i lost my head
i need this
i need this
a paper weight, junk garage
winter rain, a honey pot
crazy, all the lovers have been tagged
a hotline, a wanted add

it's crazy what you could've had
it's crazy what you could've had
it's crazy what you could've had
i need
i need this
it's crazy what you could've had
it's crazy what you could've had
i need
i need this
its crazy what you could've had
it's crazy what you could've had
i need
i, i need this
it's crazy what you could've had
i need this
it's crazy what you could've had
it's crazy what you could've had
i need this
i, i need this
it's crazy what you could've had
it's crazy what you could've had

country feedback (live) ~ r.e.m.

may your days be merry and bright

“i’m dreaming of a white christmas

just like the ones i used to know

where the tree tops glisten,

and children listen

to hear sleigh bells in the snow.”

still sick, but trying for some holiday spirit.
maria taylor’s voice is so much ethereal beauty.

white christmas ~ bright eyes

it don't snow here, it stays pretty green

"its coming on christmas

theyre cutting down trees

theyre putting up reindeer

and singing songs of joy and peace

i wish i had a river

i could skate away on."

river ~ joni mitchell

sure that star can twinkle

keep art alive; art by sas christian

first of december, and i had quite a few winter holiday plans. but, what is it they say about making plans? instead of the winter arts festival and my favorite diner, by the beach, it has been me wrapped up in a blanket on the couch feeling too sick to move. if i felt better i’d be driving around taking in the twinkle lights, which are on my list of my 100 favorite things ever. maybe tomorrow night, if i can shake the fever and sore throat.

for now, i’ll have to settle for tori singing twinkle, a copy of love actually, and my well-worn copy of high fidelity. i hope the first of december is treating you all well, and in solidarity to anna’s reminder, let us not forget world aids day.

i worry sometimes that the next generation will have forgotten, or somehow minimized, the risk of aids. perhaps it is more significant to me as i lost three amazing friends to the disease in the early and mid-nineties. like anna wrote, sexy safe sex…yes.